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Personal | January 8, 2014

What I See in the Mirror

What do you see when you look at this picture?

You probably see my neon shirt (WOW, that’s really bright!), maybe you see two cute boys, maybe you notice the gold hoops that I’m wearing, even on the beach (man she wears those a lot) or maybe you just see a generic snapshot of a family vacation. But, do you know what I see? Myself (so annoying, btw) and a hollow chest above my boob on the (your) right where I’m missing a pectoral muscle, and a boob that looks higher on the (your) left. For more than half my life I had one boob. I was born with a birth defect called Poland’s Syndrome. It effects one side of your body and is characterized by a missing pectoral muscle, as well as webbed hands and feet for some. In my case, a boob on one side and no boob on the other. Yeah, that was fun, let me tell you. So, I pretty much hated everything that involved a swim suit -ha! My parent’s, after my request, had it “fixed” when I was 20. Since then, I’ve slowly become more and more comfortable with it. In fact, if I’ve talked to you for longer than about five minutes, I’ve probably told you my story -ha! Now you know why I started crying when I saw this bird while lounging poolside on my honeymoon.

I believe we are all here to tell our stories, and I’m telling you this one for a reason. I’d like to start sharing different tips, but first, I needed you guys to know that I’m not without insecurities. We ALL have them and this isn’t my only one. When I was growing up, I wore a jelly on one side and, while I still wore shirts that fit, I did walk a little hunched over and would avoid pools, etc. But, once they were fixed, I did feel a boost of confidence. Even my best friend told me she felt like I walked around with my chin held a little higher. But now I have to dress my body with a size 32 DDD chest without looking like my chest over takes me. Why so big? Well, when you’re a C on one side and pretty much nothing on the other, they have to put implants on both sides so they look the same. I’d like to think that you are saying, “no way she can be a 32DDD”, because that means I am dressing my “challenge issue” well. I’m owning the one boob for what it is and now the two for what they are. So, what do you see when you look at pictures of yourself or in the mirror? We are ALL so critical of ourselves. Sometimes when I’m with a client and they tell me their issue, I have to ask them to repeat themselves because I just don’t see it, but they do and I get that. But, I’m asking you (just like I ask my clients) to be ok with your butt, your hips, your arms, your stomach, your cellulite, your thighs, your ankles, your feet, etc. I’m asking you this with love and empathy and I want you to know that I’m right there with you. We’ve all got our insecurities and we will collectively be working on them, but for now let’s just own them and dress them and try our very hardest to let them go.

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Comments

  1. tell it to your neighbor! says

    January 8, 2014 at 4:23 AM

    I love you! I’m proud of you!

    Reply
  2. Dorothy King says

    January 8, 2014 at 7:29 AM

    Thank you for sharing that – you come across as so perfect, so this humanizes you!

    And no, you don’t look like a DDD so you’re doing it right

    (and I say that as a 30GG who has a hard time and battles with that issue every day … because my natural boobs are all flesh, so I always have to wear a good bra).

    Reply
  3. Leslieak says

    January 8, 2014 at 1:26 PM

    It is really brave of you to tell your story- and what an inspiring one! Thank you for sharing!

    Reply
  4. Tracy_Borgmeyer02 says

    January 8, 2014 at 1:33 PM

    I love your blog and your style. Thank you for sharing your story… You are right we all have insecurities and I appreciate you sharing yours! Keep up the great work!

    Reply
  5. Katie McKenzie says

    January 8, 2014 at 1:34 PM

    What a great post! Thank you for sharing! By the way I think you are beautiful!
    Katie
    godslittlegrace.blogspot.com

    Reply
  6. koneillclark says

    January 8, 2014 at 2:13 PM

    I love you Carly! Proud of you sweet friend 🙂

    Reply
  7. Heather says

    January 8, 2014 at 2:59 PM

    I see a really happy (skinny!) mom with two beautiful children. No way would I ever have noticed that…or would I have cared!

    Reply
  8. kberry says

    January 8, 2014 at 3:35 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    Reply
  9. kberry says

    January 8, 2014 at 3:47 PM

    Thank you for posting this. I would never have noticed your flaws but would have also been quick to pick myself apart in a photo.(I notice a beautiful mom and her sweet boys and would have never noticed otherwise.)

    What a great reminder that we need to be kinder to ourselves. Thank you for sharing.

    Reply
  10. tati carpio says

    January 8, 2014 at 3:50 PM

    God Bless you! You inspire us all.

    Reply
  11. justtheassistant says

    January 8, 2014 at 5:15 PM

    Is it bad to say I didn’t know you had big boobs? I mean that in a good way! 🙂 Love love love that you’re sharing your story along with fashion advice.

    Reply
  12. Amanda Murray says

    January 8, 2014 at 7:00 PM

    Carly, what an amazing post! Right on, right on!

    Reply
  13. Heather says

    January 8, 2014 at 7:37 PM

    Holy cow, I never would have guessed– on either count! Thanks for sharing and reminding us, as my mother ALWAYS told me, that ‘EVERYbody has *something* they’re dealing with, just with some people (a lot) you may not know what it is.’

    We should all be kinder to ourselves–and each other!

    Reply
  14. Carri says

    January 8, 2014 at 8:25 PM

    You are beautiful Carly, and I never could have ever guessed. I’ve always thought that you have the cutest figure and love your style. I look forward to seeing your Instagrams and reading your posts everyday. You are such an inspiration and it’s a good reminder to be easier on myself when I don’t always like what I see in the mirror.

    Reply
  15. Karen Stopnicki says

    January 8, 2014 at 9:21 PM

    Thank you for sharing such a personal and touching story.

    Reply
  16. JLEvans says

    January 8, 2014 at 10:02 PM

    You are awesome and so brave!

    Reply
  17. ga2208 says

    January 8, 2014 at 10:15 PM

    WOW–LOVE

    Reply
  18. KGolden says

    January 8, 2014 at 11:33 PM

    You are awesome. Beautiful inside and out! Love love love u!! Such great advice. 🙂 xo

    Reply
  19. Jeanie says

    January 9, 2014 at 12:11 AM

    When I look at that picture, I see perfection and happiness. When I look in the mirror I wish I had a giant knife that could slice a good six inches off my stomach. The back view isn’t too bad for an old bat like myself.

    Reply
  20. Andrea Hallett says

    January 9, 2014 at 12:44 AM

    The first thing I noticed was how pretty and happy you look -and also your gorgeous toned legs (I don’t love mine). Never even noticed your chest. Thanks for sharing and I love your blog 🙂

    Reply
  21. Jennifer Johnson says

    January 9, 2014 at 2:32 AM

    I never would have noticed! I just see a beautiful, super sweet mom and her adorable kiddos. I think your blog is amazing and your vulnerability makes you even more endearing 🙂

    Reply
  22. Courtney Taylor says

    January 9, 2014 at 3:08 AM

    Love this Carl, for so many reason. and love you!

    Reply
  23. frankie says

    January 9, 2014 at 3:56 AM

    You are soooo right!!! I would never have noticed anything if you did not mention it!! We all need to be thankful for our health! I love your blog! Hope you and your family have a great 2014!

    Reply
  24. Lynn says

    January 9, 2014 at 5:03 AM

    Beautiful post–point taken!! Thanks for sharing.

    Reply
  25. Yolonda J. Washington // DesignRoundup says

    January 9, 2014 at 8:47 PM

    Carly, Thanks for sharing this story. I had no idea. Love this post…keep up the good work.

    Reply
  26. ajt says

    January 9, 2014 at 11:38 PM

    Thank you so much for sharing. We all have our “things” and this was a great reminder of that and to be gentler on ourselves. We are always our harshest critics.

    Reply
  27. The Slyes - Aubrey, David, and Harrison says

    January 11, 2014 at 3:12 AM

    Carley- loved this post- got misty-eyed from all the years looking at a huge scar on my leg. Thanks for being so real. Loved meeting you at wonder wild Monday- cheers to school starting! 🙂 Aubrey Slye

    Reply
  28. {Hi Sugarplum!} says

    January 15, 2014 at 6:17 PM

    I was looking at your gorgeous smile and being envious of your toned, skinny thighs! (Just like I am in every other post of yours) Thank you for this reminder today!!! xo

    Reply
  29. hmcanear says

    January 19, 2014 at 10:30 PM

    I love your blog & am so encouraged by your vulnerablity! As a woman who is insecure about breasts, too, do you mind sharing what bras you have found to minimize your chest? You never look your size, in my opinion & that is a goal of mine, as a 34D.

    Reply
    • Carly Lee (C. Style Blog) says

      January 22, 2014 at 10:03 PM

      I’ll do a post on it, for sure!

      Reply
    • hmcanear says

      January 31, 2014 at 11:51 PM

      Thank you so much! I’ll be watching for it! 🙂 Please post my question w/o name. Thanks so much! You’re an encouragement!

      Reply
  30. Mandy Saldana says

    January 23, 2014 at 9:17 PM

    Preach it sista! We could all be a little nicer to ourselves. Great post!!!!

    Reply
  31. linda says

    March 19, 2014 at 6:29 PM

    I would never noticed – I see a beautiful young slim mama !!!
    Blessings to you and you sweet sister.

    Reply
  32. Carly says

    April 18, 2014 at 4:30 PM

    Just found this post and my first thought was no way we have the same chest size! I tend to slouch so my chest doesn’t look so large, but now I think I’ll just steal some of your outfit ideas and learn to own my chest! Thank you so much for this post and saving my poor chest from (another) minimizing bra.

    Reply
  33. Devin says

    May 22, 2014 at 1:25 AM

    You are a total badass. And I’m honored to call you my friend.

    Reply
  34. Tiffany says

    April 27, 2015 at 2:38 PM

    A little late finding this post, but felt it necessary to comment regardless. . . Thank you so much for sharing your story. It was incredibly brave, but also makes someone such as myself (and I’m sure countless others) sigh a little bit of relief, that “we’re not the only one” who sees the flaws and imperfections first. I’m learning to love and appreciate my body now more than ever and your post was just lovely. Thank you!

    Reply
    • Carly Lee says

      April 29, 2015 at 2:04 PM

      Thank you, Tiffany.

      Reply
  35. lynn delima says

    January 5, 2016 at 8:03 PM

    I just ran across your blog, (a bit late I guess) and am loving it. Thank you for sharing with us, it really does help all of us to pull together as women, instead of constantly comparing ourselves 🙂

    Reply
  36. Dana Lynch says

    January 7, 2017 at 11:51 AM

    I just ran across your blog. You are awesome and seem so real! When I looked at the photo, I thought “wow, that’s a great t-shirt!” My body is an inverted triangle, and I don’t need to tell you how hard it is to find cute v-necks. I totally relate to what you’re saying about body image. At one time, I lost weight, was near the bottom of my range and down to a size 4 at 5’6″. I thought to myself, “yeah, but I’m not as thin as the other women who wear size 4.” What?

    I’m a stylist and totally hear what you’re saying about your clients as well. I often have to have a client explain to me a second time “what’s wrong with their body.” One example I remember is a size 2 fitness instructor who told me she couldn’t wear skirts and didn’t want tops that hit a certain part of her torso, because she had a shelf butt. We’ve worked together for 8 years now, and I still don’t really know what she means–don’t see it! I will look forward to bookmarking your blog!

    Dana Lynch, http://elementsofimage.com/style-blog/.

    Reply
    • Carly Lee says

      January 11, 2017 at 10:32 AM

      Hi! Thank you for your sweet comment! I checked out your blog! I like your tag line at the top!

      Reply

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Carly Lee

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GIVEAWAY ALERT! The sun’s out, so let’s celebr GIVEAWAY ALERT! The sun’s out, so let’s celebrate with a GIVEAWAY! I know I could use a little pick me up this Monday morning! How darling is this new top by @emiliacollection.insta?! I love the feminine ruffles and handmade details. Whether you pair it with denim for a casual look or with a colorful skirt  for a dressier look, this top will make your outfit! I’m so excited to be teaming up with @emiliacollection.insta for a GIVEAWAY!  To celebrate YOU (our followers), we are giving away a top of your choice to TWO lucky winners!! To enter: 1) follow @emiliacollection.insta 2) follow me @cstyleblog and 3) leave a comment 4) for extra entries, tag a friend(s) as a comment. Each comment counts as an entry! We'll announce the winner on Thursday night!
You see the brown spots on the hydrangeas in this You see the brown spots on the hydrangeas in this picture? It's kinda embarrassing to admit that they’re all I could see at first when I was cutting these hydrangeas from my yard- all the ugly brown, dry spots. As I brought them inside to throw away, I saw them all in my arms and thought, “Wait, these are really pretty all together. How could I just dismiss these so quickly?” Well, it's no surprise to me why I could dismiss them so quickly being the enneagram 1/perfectionist I am, but this was such a good reminder that if I choose to see beyond all the little imperfections in my life how much richer and more beautiful my life becomes! I hope someday I won't even notice those brown spots, but I also have grown to appreciate that God gave me an eye to try and make my world  and life a better place. I just gotta keep it in check and not dismiss the whole lot of hydrangeas for the little brown spots. This is a really beautiful, loving life if I'm looking for it.
I woke up to an email from @anthropologie announci I woke up to an email from @anthropologie announcing their tag sale that starts today (an extra 30% off sale items) and noticed that this jumpsuit I purchased and have not had the chance to post was part of the sale. When I don’t feel like putting together an outfit, I gravitate towards one piece outfits- like a jumpsuit/romper or a dress, which seems to happen more and more during this time at home. Putting together two pieces to make an outfit feels like so much work these days! Plus, I look fully dressed without much effort, and you know I like that. Anyway, there are so many cute one piece options on sale! Then, I noticed that so many items I found and loved during this same shopping trip are included in the sale! The good stuff goes fast, so head to my stories for links to what else I found!  #myanthropologie #sponsored http://liketk.it/2QXVm #liketkit @liketoknow.it #LTKstyletip
Any baseball moms out there? ⚾️ Although it’ Any baseball moms out there? ⚾️ Although it’s hot and downright uncomfortable to be outside on metal bleachers, I love it! Do y’all feel the same? And I have missed it! To see your son and his buddies make a really great play just gets my mom heart. I actually got goosebumps last weekend after a play. I know, I am a total dork. Now, I know from experience that if you’re not prepared for the games, you can get quite uncomfortable. As you all know, I am practical to a fault. So in preparation for my next few weeks and weekends that will be spent at the ball fields, I thought I’d share on the blog and on stories today what I think are the 7 necessities to enjoy yourself despite the conditions. I hope they can be of use to you during these toasty summer days outdoors! http://liketk.it/2QUiC

#liketkit @liketoknow.it #LTKspring #LTKstyletip #LTKfamily #houstonstylist #stylist #momstyle #summerstyle #warmweather #momlife #boymom #baseball #fashion #ootd #baseballmom #momstyle #styletip
For the last couple of years, finding a versatile For the last couple of years, finding a versatile cover-up has felt practically impossible. Especially since ruffles, puff sleeves, and bows are where it's at with swimsuits right now. It felt like I was trying to buy a cover-up for every swimsuit (ummm, no), which forced me to put on my thinking cap. I finally found my perfect solution!!! SCARVES (aka sarong's)! I'm calling them scarves because I love the idea of using the scarves I already have in my closet as cover ups! Or wearing the sarong you have as a scarf! Not to mention, there are so many more darling scarves out there than there are sarongs and cover ups, and in my mind, they are just waiting to be used as coverups! Plus, typically scarves are less expensive! When I saw this darling rainbow scarf, I knew that I wanted to wear it immediately with this swimsuit top.
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I’ve linked a few scarves I'm loving that I think would be great as a cover-ups. I didn't have a chance to check the measurements on all these scarves, so make sure that they're big enough! http://liketk.it/2QzmV #liketkit @liketoknow.it #LTKswim #LTKstyletip #stylist #houstonstylist #styletip #swim #coverup #swimcoverup #summerstyle
I have a new trick! I don't know about you, but I' I have a new trick! I don't know about you, but I'm in love with a lot of these statement swimsuit tops that are out right now. But, I am not in love with the price tag! So, I've come up with a solution! I buy the statement top, and then I buy my swimsuit bottoms from Old Navy! Their swimsuit bottoms fit well, and it's fun to be able to mix and match! In this picture, I'm wearing a designer swimsuit top with my Old Navy bottoms. And since Old Navy has so many different cuts and styles of bottoms, you can find the right fit for you and mix and match the bottoms with your favorite tops! For instance, if you have a red swimsuit top, how cute would they be with blue and white polka dot bottoms for the 4th? Or you could pair your red top with the red and white stripe bottoms. I don't think it matters much if there is a little color variation. Once the swimsuit is wet the colors change, anyway! I'm so excited about this trick, I can hardly stand it! Can you tell?! If you utilize this trick, please tag me or send me a picture. It would make my day!!!
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For sizing reference, my personal favorite are Old Navy's bikini bottoms. I wear either a small or medium depending on how I feel that day. But like I said, they have all different cuts for bottoms, so you can find the one that's right for your body type. http://liketk.it/2Qzjx #liketkit @liketoknow.it #LTKstyletip #LTKswim #styletip #stylist #houstonstylist #summerfashion #fashiontips #stylehacks
You gotta love it when a plan works out! I bought You gotta love it when a plan works out! I bought this top after I posted about my favorite tops for summer on the blog. I know that off the rack clothing rarely fits perfectly. I usually end up returning online orders and go on the search for that perfect top, but unfortunately, that usually comes with a high designer price tag, not to mention hours of searching. Now in COVID times, returns are more difficult, and I don't have the liberty to just go in stores to search for that perfect top. It's definitely giving me a "make it work” attitude, which is really working out well for me! For instance, this top was shown on the model with an open back that tied with a bow and a bra looking front (swipe right). I used a tack stitch on the bottom of the bra part to provide more coverage and wrapped the bow to the front so my back is covered and my front has more coverage. I paired it with my sister's (@tellittoyourneighbor) and my new favorite high-waisted denim shorts. They're a great denim short option for all shapes, and if you want more length, you can keep them unrolled. And I love how my new favorite @espacio_popupshop MAC bracelets tie it all together! Now, let's talk about how I really want to get a hot glue gun out and make a dope mirror like this one! I don't have seashells. I wonder what else I could use? Hmmmm... http://liketk.it/2Qz5I #liketkit @liketoknow.it #LTKstyletip #stylist #houstonstylist #diy #diyfashion #freepeople #agolde @freepeople @agolde
I love the changes I see happening in our country, I love the changes I see happening in our country, and I don't want them to end. I don't ever want to go back to the way things were. All of this progress feels so right. I feel it so deeply in my soul. I'm all in on all of this kind of LOVE. I want to be a part of the change, and I plan to do so in my own little way, but I am taking a cue from @beabridgebuilder founder @latashamorrison and pressing the pause button. I will stand in a place of awareness and humility and learn. But one thing I've realized that I've done in the past that hasn't been helpful is staying quiet for fear that, out of my ignorance, my words would offend a Black friend and that I would be corrected. (In fact, I would always say "African American" for fear that "Black" was offensive. I learned that's not the case.) My silence didn't help anyone. So, I go forward knowing that out of my ignorance, I will make mistakes and will unintentionally offend, but I won't let my fear and self preservation get in the way of trying to help. If I make a mistake, I can learn and say I'm sorry. I'm a big girl now, and I want change. If the change leads to me being humbled, I'm ok with that. I won't stay silent anymore. 
Outfit linked —> http://liketk.it/2QpL7 
Bracelets by @espacio_popupshop 
#liketkit @liketoknow.it #change #georgefloyd #listening #learning #changeisgood #wontstaysilent #speakup pic by @tellittoyourneighbor

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