Merry Christmas! If I could, I’d send each one of you a Christmas card!
I saw this today on Instagram by my friend, @brookewise.
This really spoke to me. For most of my life, I’ve had a bad case of “the wants”. As a child, I wanted to live in a bigger house (Kevin’s house in Home Alone, please!). I wanted my parents to drive fancier cars (a Suburban with vinyl seats… not so fancy -ha!). I wanted to go on fancy vacations with drivers and butlers in NYC during Christmas (so realistic -ha!)! And I wanted Guess jeans and Cole Haans!
Then I actually got two of my big wants- Cole Haan loafers and a Dooney and Bourke purse. I remember thinking that if I could just have those two items, I’d be happy and content. I wouldn’t want anything else. Maybe those items would make it look like I lived in Kevin’s house and went on fancy vacations -ha! Well shoot, that didn’t pan out. I still lived in the same house and those items didn’t make me happy. I just wanted more… something else, something better. I wish I could say I learned my lesson after this, but I didn’t. I had to learn this lesson the hard way…
My bad case of the wants continued into adulthood. If I could just get married to a handsome, smart guy (I know, I’m so deep), if we could just have kids and make our family complete, if I could just live in this area of town or this house, etc… You see where I’m going. My wants just got bigger, more expensive and more weighty. But after receiving each one of those wants, I’d eventually have periods of let down. I wouldn’t know what it was, but it would creep in. I’d feel unhappy, discontent and maybe even a bit depressed (ok, in some cases, a lot depressed). Why was I depressed? Look at what all I have to be thankful for! Then I’d feel guilty for not being grateful for my blessings! Oh, what a vicious cycle. (See? I told you I had to learn this lesson the hard way! Most of you are probably going “duh!!!” at this point in my story -ha!)
Well, it’s no surprise, but all of those material things didn’t make me happy. And my happiness can’t be contingent on my husband and the very beings I love most in this entire world, my kids. So I have to remind myself, wants and things are neither here nor there. This is the reason there are happy people all over the world regardless of what they do or do not have! The empty feeling (my present hangover) is a reminder to me of a big lesson. The emptiness is there for a reason. It’s God’s way of reminding me where my true happiness lies. My joy does not come from things or stem from other people. If I’m lookimg for it there, I’ll end up feeling empty. The faster I remember this, the better off I am.