Shopping, Let’s Get Real

If you’ve gone shopping for white jeans, shorts, swimsuits… or really anything, then you know that the combination of terrible lighting that shows EVERYTHING, a three way mirror and your brain can be a recipe for disaster. As promised, here is what is to expect when you go into the shark infested waters of jeans shopping. If any of these things happen to you, just know you’re not alone:

1. If you have to do squats to get a pair of jeans on or pull them up from the belt loops so hard you think you’re going to break them, you’re not alone. Remember that old jean commercial? Yup, it’s like that for me.
2. If you break out in a sweat or your upper lip starts to sweat (wait, is that just me?) when you’re  trying on jeans, you’re not alone. For this reason, I never pass up water when shopping. My answer is alway, yes! Hahaha!
3. If the clothes get stuck on you, you’re not alone. I started hyperventilating once because I got claustrophobic and legit didn’t think a dress was going to come off.
4. If you try on a pair of jeans that gives you a unwanted look in your crotch area (sorry to be graphic, but I needed y’all to know), you’re not alone. One time, the sales associates didn’t believe me, so I stepped out of the dressing room and they were like, “Oooooooo….” Hahahaha! I had to prove it!
5. If you try on over 30 pairs of jeans and you still cannot find a pair that you really like, you’re not alone. I’m sure the sales associates hate me, but if I’m going to spend good money on a pair of jeans, I need to love them and they must fit fabulously!
6. If you start to get light headed from bending down so much, you’re not alone. I’ve had to stop for half a second and take a breather.
7. If you have extra skin that hangs over your jeans, because well, you have skin (I mean we need skin to be able to bend, right?), you’re not alone.
8. If you are one size in a certain brand and two sizes bigger in another brand, you’re not alone.
9. If you have dots on your thighs that you can see through the jeans, you’re not alone. Yes, I workout often and this happens to me. It’s the way God made me. It is what it is.
10. If you have have a pocket of skin under your butt that shows through the jeans, you’re not alone. I’ve never met a single person that this doesn’t happen to.
11. If cropped jeans look like high waters on you or regular length looks like you are wearing leg warmers, you’re not alone.
12. If you have a hang up on your body that you see but no one else does, you’re not alone. Now, I no longer let it hinder me from looking my best. I just ignore my issue. I do. Sometimes I purposefully cast a shadow so I can’t see it. This way I can objectively see if I like the item. No one sees it except for me, so why give it power? Plus, I can’t do anything about it.

So, why do we go shopping? Because it’s fun! Hahahaha! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve started cracking up in a dressing room with my sister! What do we laugh about? #1-#12 -ha! Oh, and when you find THE pair (like we did here), it makes it all worth it.

Picture by Traci Ling