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Personal | October 26, 2018

Making Peace With Perfect

Last night, my husband brought in the mail with 4 holiday catalogs, two of them were as thick as phonebooks. He said, “Do you want to look at these, or should I toss them?” I didn’t know how to answer, I was like a deer in headlights! I have a love/hate relationship with these catalogs! I love them because they feel like such an escape, like a vacation, and then I hate them because it’s just a whole bunch of LIES! LIES! LIES!

I have an embarrassing confession to make. For a long time, those catalogs where what I thought my reality could look like. If I could just work hard enough, my life would look like that. My house would have Christmas sheets on every bed, and it would be picked up and matching. I think back on it now and laugh. I must’ve had a few screws loose. Who did I think put all those sheets on the beds? How did I think that life could actually look like a perfect staged picture all the time? I do have to say, my quest for perfection drove me in life, and for that reason, it was good. It just drove me toward the wrong goal, which inevitably drove me crazy. I learned that those things will not make me happy.

I do believe perfection is deeply rooted in me. But, I now know that I will not see perfection this side of heaven, no matter what Instagram and Pinterest say. It’s only in heaven that I will see that kind of perfection (and I can’t wait!).  Now, I’m learning to appreciate the more meaningful moments in life. I’m not going to stay up crazy late making presents look perfect with precise creases, or force my boys to decorate Christmas cookies perfectly, the way I see it in my head. Instead, I will enjoy a movie on the couch with my family and go to bed early. Or get in bed and read a good book, knowing that I could pick up every last thing off the floor in my house, but it will look that same way within 5 minutes the next morning.

I think the saying goes something like, “disappointment comes from unmet expectations”. Well, when you’re expecting everything and everyone to look perfect in order to be happy, you can imagine how disappointing my days were and how much beauty I missed in the everyday moments that aren’t picture perfect but have such great substance to them. Let’s just say, I’ve had to adjust my expectations in life. I no longer wait for my life to be perfect, and I no longer expect it to be perfect. I don’t walk around disappointed all the time -ha! Instead, I sit knowing I will see perfection in all its glory in heaven, but here on earth, I live with a peace knowing there’s no point spinning my wheels trying to create a fantasy. It will not be perfect, and I’m learning to live in the moment.

And can I just say, I still revel in the 5 minutes of clean house before my kids come home, or a window washer who is so precise that there is not a speck of dirt left on the window, or getting a piece of art hung perfectly straight. Oh, I just love it. I really do. It’s crazy how much I do, but it’s no longer at the expense of my sanity and happiness. I guess you could say, I’m embracing my want of perfection in a world that is imperfect by choosing to see the perfectly good things that are already in front of my face. Yay! I’m growing up! ha!

If any of this resonated with you, check out the book Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist!

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Comments

  1. Michelle C says

    October 26, 2018 at 6:43 AM

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing this! I have a senior in high school and I already feel pressured to give her the “perfect” last full holiday season at home. Hello 3 new trees in the attic, a list of cookie recipes a mile long and home decorating ideas I needed to start last month to get it all done the way I see it in my mind in time for Christmas Eve. Scraping the lists and spending time snuggled on the sofa with my girl with some old movies sounds like a better use of my time. Happy perfectly imperfect holiday perfection to you! ❤️ 🎄

    Reply
    • Carly Lee says

      October 26, 2018 at 10:25 AM

      Yes!!! I’m going to steal this line “perfectly imperfect holiday perfection!” So good! Thanks for the comment!

      Reply
  2. Steph says

    October 26, 2018 at 7:53 AM

    YES! YES! YES! As a recovering perfectionist, I couldn’t agree more. For me, perfection is in the details but so is insanity. My mantra is “it doesn’t have to be perfect to be GOOD.”
    I too cannot wait for heaven. And we don’t have to be perfect to get there…thank you, Jesus
    Thank you for this authentic post 😘

    Reply
  3. Paige Wright says

    October 26, 2018 at 8:35 AM

    I am your soul sister haha!! I too learned the hard way and am a recovering perfectionist as well…fist bump:)

    Reply
  4. Emmy says

    October 26, 2018 at 10:09 AM

    Put so beautifully! I can relate!

    Reply
  5. Catherine O’Neill says

    October 26, 2018 at 12:57 PM

    I love this- thank you for sharing! I so enjoyed meeting you last night. Hope I wasn’t too much of a creeper!

    Reply
    • Carly Lee says

      October 26, 2018 at 3:56 PM

      Catherine, I loved meeting you last night! Thanks for introducing yourself! Your jacket looked fabulous, btw!

      Reply
  6. Shirley says

    October 28, 2018 at 3:16 PM

    What a great post. I can so relate and I appreciate the honesty. It’s like a breath of fresh air! I love all the great comments too…’perfectly imperfect holiday perfection’!

    Reply
  7. Linda says

    October 29, 2018 at 7:59 PM

    Thank you for this. I really needed it. So beautifully written.

    Reply
    • Carly Lee says

      October 30, 2018 at 9:06 AM

      Thank you for reading, and thank you for your comment.

      Reply

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