I loved this chapter!!! I needed to hear it! I need to coach myself. If I think about it, I coach myself during really big moments or after I’ve read a really motivating book or podcast, but in the morning when I’m dragging or in the middle of the day when things are all melting together ( you know, the day to day), I don’t. And I need to coach myself during those times! I actually dog-eared this chapter, so I can go back to it during one of those times I need help coaching myself because there are so many practical nuggets.
I’m so glad she actually talked about the importance of a healthy thought life. I think people don’t talk about the voices they hear in their head for fear people are going to think they are crazy. Well, I guess she calls them “thoughts” but same difference, right? Ha! This is my favorite line from this chapter, “While the monster in your mind might not take your physical life, incorrect thinking can kill. It can kill your hope, it can kill your joy, and it can kill your motivation to push past momentary problems or pressure toward the purposes God has placed in you.” For the longest time, I thought being mentally tough looked like charging ahead (that’s denial). Now I realize being tough is actually acknowledging the hard, imperfect, sadness, and choosing thoughts that help you deal, cope and get through, not just give in. To me, that’s mental toughness.
“If you choose to…. go with the flow of your feelings, your feelings just might pull you under.” Where was this truth that I needed to hear for the last 10 years of my life?!?! Guilty as charged, your honor!!! For the longest time, I would let my feelings rule me. I would wake up in the morning feeling tired and dreadful and wait around for something to brighten my day. I wouldn’t take charge of my emotions, I would just let them rule me! And honestly, that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I have made huge strides in this area– I think this is the biggest thing God’s taught me over the last couple of years, but I still struggle with this. Which is why I know this to be true, “If you allow your heart (feelings) to lead your actions, you just might act in ways that hurt yourself or others.”
But my very favorite part of this chapter is the “Show Up Like You Are Meant to Be There” part! She says this, “Sometimes that means I fake it till I make it, based on what I know to be true.” I love this because it’s very hard for me to be “fake”. She made me realize my feelings aren’t actually truth. So acting on my feelings isn’t being real, it’s being irresponsible and immature. Acting on truth regardless of my feelings is actually being responsible, conscientious and intentional, not fake. Her list of what that looks like to her needs to be taped to my refrigerator! Specifically, oh shoot… all of them!!! (page 253).
“If God has provided an opportunity for you, show up like you’re supposed to be there.” Boom. Mic drop.
The way she describes herself as a wife is exactly like me. I guess you all know what 3 things I’ll be focusing on in the next 90 days. I really liked the practicality of this chapter. It’s very easy, practical steps to achieve what you want.
In case you missed it you can find more of my thoughts on Part 5 HERE I shared on instagram.